Different Shoes

God is Good!

Yes, I do recognize that some out there might be atheist, or would rather refer to a higher power. Nonetheless, I cannot deny the difference of my status between January 2010 and January 2009. It did not happen automatically, and there was a lot of praying involved.

• I have a computer now. Do you know how it feels to not have one, or a blackberry, iphone, or any type of technological advancement. Twitter and Facebook were the last things on my mind, and although I am a writer, it never occured to me to blog...why would I? My source of information came from the news on TV, only. I did not even have cable. But it was okay. All of these things were not necessary to my children and my survival. Yet, it feels good to have one, I will not deny that.
• Returning back to college feels really good. Everyone can use an upgrade every now and then.
• Shelter, smhelter. It's true, I am admitting that at a time in my life we lived in a shelter. Imagine, as a grown person, being told what time to come in and how to live. It goes without saying that this was an uncomfortable lifestyle, where the future was uncertain. Working was not easy, due to changes in residence. Without knowing where my permanent residence might be, I was stressed about what schools my children would attend. It was not a lack of rent payments that led to my situation, but rather an emergency. It makes me think of how battered women are treated when they have no place to go, but that is another story. Regardless, even though I will not look at 2009 as my best year, I appreciate the help we received.

Like I stated before, I did a lot of praying. When everything seemed lost, I kept a lot of faith. Many friends and family members have told me that if they went through this type of trial, they probably would have lost. I just knew that this was not the end all, and as stated in the Bible, this was just a moment in time. I consider myself a Christian, but spiritual more than that. I used some Buddhist principles; such as negating the feelings of desire and wanting. When you're focused on wanting something, then it creates unhappiness and negativity. For instance, many shelter residants seemed to always have nice clothes and had their hair professionally done. I knew that wasn't my main goal, so I focused on taking care of myself and finding ways to save. Even with that mentality, I knew that this wasn't the type of lifestyle that we would have for good. With aspirations and faith, I said f#%k it, I'm going back to school.

Life is what we make it, but I truly believe that we need extra help along the way. I am truly thankful.