Wha-Wha-What Did You Say?

Don't judge my Blackness based upon my ignorance of Kwaanza. It has a beautiful concept, but I have hardly ever participated. Anyhow, last week I attended one of them (forgive me please for forgetting the name of the day). There was a part where we discussed something that we can do for the community, and I suggested putting an emphasis on sexual education in the school we were formatting. It was written down but drowned out by other significant curriculum ideas, such as business development, multiculturalism, black history, etc. It was either my voice or the subject matter that I brought up that made people ignore the idea. Let's face it, many people are afraid of the thought of sex and their children. But let's be real, if adults don't teach them, who will?

Last summer, we listened to what was a new song. My then 5 year old daughter and I danced to it, and I wanted to believe she was ignorant to it's message. "Mommy, they're talking about how they want to take girls home." "Yea," I replied. "They're gonna play video games." From her tiny mouth, the mature correction was, "No Mommy, they're gonna have sex." Instantly, I was hit with these options:

1. Cry like a big baby.
2. Scream and throw a tantrum while interrogating her of why she knows of such a word.
3. Reach for my asthma pump.
4. Ignore her.
5. Address the issue at hand.

I had to do what I had to do, so option 5 was the answer.
"U-uh uh uh..." "Oh, I forgot, you didn't know I know what sex is." What the hell was going on here! "Well, uh, baby, I am surprised, but, uh, how did you find out?"

Through conversation (thank you God!) I found out Jada really didn't know what sex is, but heard one of her kindegarten classmates tell her of it a lot. It was tough, but it enabled me to discuss this with her before some other little snot-nosed child leads her in the wrong direction...um, excuse me, I'm sorry. It gave me the chance to really teach her that it is something that can be scary if children do it. My message was not perfect, and there was a touch of scare-tactics I must admit. I told her that sex can lead to sickness (most of the time the message to the youth is about pregnancy, but who wants HIV?).There was no script, hey, I was ready for this discussion in the 4th grade (yes, in NYC it can be that serious).

Allow me hit you with some facts.

• Since 1999, the amount of adolescents and young adults has increased from 3.9% to 4.2% in 2004. niaid.nih.gov
• African American and Hispanic teenagers (13-19 years old) take up 66% and 21% of 2003 AIDS cases. niaid.nih.gov
• The estimated, meaning this number is missing the exact amount, of infected children under the age of 13 in 2007 was 159. Some might have been born with the virus, but the total of infected adolescents from ages 13-19 was 1703 that year. Mind you, many children don't consider getting tested. CDC.gov
• Sexually active children are more premiscuous than adults; therfore they contract STD's more often. wonder.cdc.gov

I can go on and on until I bore you and myself. Instead, I just hope that more people will be willing to talk to their children about sex in a reasonable way. It should be glorified when they are older and can maintain their own jobs, perhaps. I am not advocating that we turn the beauty of sex into something  satan sent us. My grandmother once told me that women get breast cancer from being in "dirty" magazines...No no no. I'm just saying we should clarify the risks to youngster before exposing the positives. Simultaneously, I am sure another child might tell them nonsense. For instance; while we were teenagers my younger sister told me her friends said sperm is a nice conditioner...ewwwwwwwwww. Need I say more?

This has been a public service anouncement.